Find the joy.

May and June had been pretty tough months for me. The week after Pinatubo, I was down with the flu
so I was absent for a number of days. I haven't been that sick in years and with my low pain tolerance to boot, the flu was excruciating, killing me. Went back to work with loads of tasks piled up and it seemed my job has completely taken over my life. I feel very unorganized and overwhelmed with my chores, up until today, my desk folders are in a messy array. My birthday passed and I celebrated it with a guiltless shopping spree which really brought my 'savings' to the brink. I'm also having a hard time with my faith. I'm a Catholic by heart and I want to stay that way forever but it's been really difficult for me. I'm mentally, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually drained these days. Such exhaustion kept me away from this happiness project of mine. And I'm always nearly in tears and breakdown. Is this depression? What keeps me is hope. It helps that I hold on to my St. Jude prayer that I keep in my pocket. I was reading the verses the other day and I was crying afterwards.

I'm in a confused state now. But one thing is clear, I want to be happy and continue this project.
Ok, not even over-the-top happy. To be "at peace" will do. So here's what I'll work on..

Mental - Stop thinking to much. I'm a time freak, worrywart which heightens my stress level all the time.
Physical - Start exercising again. Take the vitamins everyday. Don't forget the flu shots and have my tests scheduled.
Emotional - Deal with relationships maturely. Don't waste time and others' time, feelings and efforts.
Financial - Start saving again and stop shopping! Budget, Ayen, b-u-d-g-e-t!!!
Spiritual - Pray always. Things will get better. And I'm really serious about attending the HESL retreat.
Educational - Learn a new skill. Save up for driving lessons and try cooking.

Need to work on my attitude starting today. The bright side is I still have July-December.
This is a start.

Side note: Is it just me or I looked happier and healthier when I welcomed 22 than when I turned 21?

What up, February?

The first half of February flew by in a blur due to the demands of work. Seminars and a big company event ate up most of my time, but I’m not complaining since these have been wonderful opportunities for my (*brace yourselves*) professional and personal growth. Pretty engaged with a master list of tasks, I’ve left little to no chance of posting an update here. It’s only now, remaining days of the month that I finally found the instant to fill in the highlights of the busy February that was.

1. Seminars, seminars and did I say, seminars?

I work for a training company specializing in courses for small and medium enterprises (SMEs). I do the organizing, sales & marketing, material preparation, logistics, reports and planning for these seminars and though it’s a bit overwhelming, this is the best job for me (yet). Meeting people from all walks of life and being appreciated by them is truly fulfilling.

On the other hand, we staged this big event, an awarding ceremony for top young Filipino marketers, early February.I met a lot of industry bigwigs there and was inspired by the bright awardees. Our egress ended close to midnight but we sure had fun.

2. Yumi’s Homecoming or The Night of Polka Dots

My bestfriend(slash)college classmate Yumi, who’s now Singapore-based, went home for a couple of days. Since her trip is short, we just had dinner at KFC Gateway, mall we frequent to during good old, university days. It’s been almost 2 years since we graduated. Time flies fast and we lead different lives now, but it was great to see them. Unintentionally, 3/4 of us were wearing polka dots. Talk about destiny. Haha.

3. Valentine's Day

We celebrated Valentine's Day this year at home. My stepsister cooked yummy salpicao while I bought drinks and ice cream, as contribution. It was a relaxed date, away from the stress and traffic Valentines bring.

4. One Laguna Sunday

I spent one Sunday in our Laguna home to attend my younger stepsister's Family Day at St. Scholastica's. We went to her school mid-morning, and my tummy got giddy over the delicious offerings at the fair. Pizzas, fish & fries(which I loved!), Cerealicious, dirty ice cream, buko shake and more. We had lunch (of my favorite, shrimps!) at home, rested and chatted for a bit before we returned to the school to watch the students' presentations. Early evening, we drove to Tagaytay to chill and boy, was it chilly + windy + cold there. We had some Starbucks before we decided to go home. Albeit short, it was a peaceful and work-free weekend.

5. Bustos Fiesta

Every last Sunday of February, my town in Bulacan celebrates fiesta. There's a carnival, fairs with all sorts of stuff to sell, novenas, processions and yep, food. Loads of it. When in Bulacan, I wake up early on Saturdays because it's Lola's trip to the market and I enjoy accompanying her. The people I see there are folks I've met since I was young and the conversations I overhear are hilarious. Lola got me pop rice and some rice cakes for breakfast. For lunch, we had crabs and shrimps(LOVE). Just when I thought it's over, we had Chicken Teriyaki for dinner. Blissful Saturday, it is. Come Sunday, it was the day of the fiesta. We had family members, relatives and friends over for lunch and need I say more? We're in food heaven.

Best Memories of 2011

2011 had been an amazing year for me. Though it kicked off to a bad/sad start, the following months were filled with adventures, opportunities and memories I will treasure forever.

In gratitude, I made a list of the top 5 memorable events I loved and appreciated the most.

1. Christmas 2011

The Holiday season was extra special last December because my dad’s youngest brother, who I’m close with and haven’t seen for more than 8 years, went home and celebrated Christmas with us. Our annual party was more fun and meaningful with his and his wife’s presence, and truly, the occasion was all about love and family. Sure, the gifts and food had been overwhelming but I have to give it to Tito Ichan and Tita Joyce for making Christmas 2011 the best I had in a long time.

2. Jason Mraz in Manila (30 October 2011, Smart Araneta Coliseum)

Seeing and hearing Jason Mraz perform live was an incredible experience, way too good for words. Singing in unison and dancing away without people blocking you off, exchanging high fives and smiles with strangers, being captivated by the positive energy that night and feeling the love and passing it around. Best night of my life! (and if Mr. A-Z is true to his words,I’m having an aMrazing one this year)

3. Lola Tina’s 75^th Birthday Weekend (10-11 April 2011 Fontana Leisure Park)

We hosted a luau for my paternal grandmother’s birthday, complete with summer outfits, colorful leis, paper lanterns and a program Lola was over the moon about. It was the family’s first out-of-town and all of us had a grand time bonding over karaoke, overflowing food, drinks until dawn, malling and swimming. Albeit short, the getaway made us closer as a family and I’m crossing my fingers for more of these moments.

4. New job, endless opportunities

My current job (which I was initially hesitant about) took me over and really pushed my limits. Over the last six months, I gave Powerpoint and Excel a try, conquered my fear in installing the LCD projector, met and strike conversations with clients,

helped organize a conference, made and presented an actual year -end report + marketing plan, attended a number of seminars(for free!), gained more confidence, and the best part, get mentored by industry experts. Pressure and stress asi

de, I’m enjoying working for and learning a lot from my team.

5. My 21st Birthday

I spent my birthday attendi

ng mass at St. Jude, having lunch with my family and opening myself up to unexplored but better opportunities in life. I quit my first job the day before so we opted to have a simple celebration. Bored, broke and broken, I made a decision for myself, and that is to follow my dream, be a better version of myself. A Happy Birthday, indeed.

So yeah, 2011 had been a good year for me. Looking back, I learned a lot from the wonderful adventures I encountered last year.

This 2012, wherever this new chapter will take me, I'll be enjoying the ride.